The State of Maine and the state of Gay Marriage in America

Not long ago, it was illegal for a black person and a white person to marry. In addition, it was highly discouraged - if not outright illegal - for mixed marriages to occur - that is, people of different religious backgrounds were not to marry. Today, while some people still look down their noses at such unions, the general consensus is that it is the right of those involved in the marriage to make decisions regarding their choice of marital partner. So why doesn't that apply to everyone?
When Andy and I were in college, we spent many evenings at his fraternity for the obligatory parties. While Andy did his duty by the brothers, I hid out in an upstairs bedroom. I have no idea whose room it was, nor do I care. What I do remember is that one of the older brothers spent most of the evening there as well. He kept me entertained, kept me supplied with whatever drink or snack I wanted, and was quite wonderful while Andy was doing his official "business." While with Todd, I never worried about my safety or the safety of anyone else around him. He was capable, compassionate, and always the gentleman. Having served as President of the Student Body while at UND, Todd was an interesting man, capable of holding an intelligent conversation for extended periods of time. Today, he is an accomplished lawyer, a thespian, and very handsome. And he is openly gay.
What I am not able to understand is how people who have never met Todd can presume to dictate his marriage partner. I am not referring to the marriage ceremony that takes place within a church. Each religion and each congregation needs to decide that issue for themselves. What I am questioning is how in a nation, that has made a deliberate separation of church and state, can legally block the marriage of two consenting adults. When Andy and I applied for our marriage license, the person who sold it to us didn't ask any questions regarding our history, our religion, our intentions towards child-bearing, or any other personal questions. She simply had us fill out a form, then stamped it when she took our money. That was it. Why should it be any different for Todd, or the countless others? Why should other people get to choose the person his employee benefits can protect, or what tax form he will file? These people did not get to voice an opinion about my marriage to Andy, and they should not get a voice in this either. It is a ridiculous notion, and it is time we accept that.