The second year of Andy's residency is coming to a close. At the same time, we are once again trying to figure out where Andy will be practicing when he is done. Originally, our plan was to move to Roseau, and Andy had signed a contract of intent. However, a few months ago the residency where he works offered him a faculty position when he finishes his third year. So we withdrew from Roseau, and thought he'd be working for the residency. Unfortunately, the Altru administration found out that the residency had offered him a job without their consent. Now, the residency and the administration are engaged in a contest to see who has the larger penis. We've been watching this play out for 3 months. All the while, Sanford has been offering him contract after contract to work in their East Grand Forks clinic. At this rate, Sanford is likely to come out on top, unless Altru can miraculously pull it together in the next week.
That being said, the decision to stay in town rather than go to Roseau has shortened Andy's residency by a year, as there is no longer a need for him to do the 4th year OB fellowship. And that means only 12 more months of UND housing, ridiculous hours, and overnight call at the hospital. It also means only 12 more months of student loan deferments, but as that is a rather depressing thought I am choosing not to focus on that part.
The second year has been better than the first in many ways. There are fewer call months, and the kids are older. This makes my life a bit easier. Also, Andy has been moonlighting at least once a month, and we are finally paying off some debt. And Santa was able to bring the kids a trip to Disneyland. And that was amazing. I've waited my whole life to go to Disneyland, and we all had a great time. The kids have begun to make plans for the next trip!
June is always a busy month at the residency. We have the annual forced resident fun weekend at Ruttgers that we are required to attend. There is the "send-off" picnic for the departing 3rd years. And there is a new crop of first years beginning to wander into the residency.
June is also a busy month at our house. Megan has been doing the "pre-kindergarten" class at West, in preparation for her kindergarten debut this fall. She is loving it, and is getting to know some of the other kids and her teachers. Nico has been swimming a few mornings a week with the swim team, playing baseball for the park board, and taking viola lessons. With all the running, the month of June has flown by. Tomorrow we are off to Sioux Falls to spend a weekend with my sister and her family. We'll wrap up the month by spending it at the lake with Andy's family. Life is very, very busy these days. I'm really looking forward to July, in hopes that we get some lazy days to spend by the pool.
We really need to have some nice weather. Nico's swim practice has been pretty scanty, and if he wants to keep swimming well he'll need more time in the pool. He had a really respectable showing at State this year, placing in the top 10 in every event he swam - except the one in which he was DQ'd! - and I know he'd like to do that again. It seems that swimming is something that he really enjoys and does well.
Both kids are trying to decide if they want to do dance again next year. Nico did boy's hip-hop this year, and it was a lot of fun to watch him at the recital. However, he'll be swimming and playing football in the fall and he isn't sure he wants to dance again. Megan doesn't like ballet, but likes tap and she wants to try jazz. Unfortunately, at this age, if you want to do tap or jazz, ballet is required. We'll have to see how she feels about it in September when they start again.
Meanwhile, I'm making no progress towards graduation, but I did take a "real" teaching job. This coming year I'll be teaching 3 classes for Lake Region State College on UND campus. I'll be working with the LAUNCH program, and it promises to be a real challenge. I'm hoping I can muster some self-discipline and get some writing done at the same time.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Love letters
People used to write love letters. And send postcards. And keep diaries. And send pictures and letters to each other to record the momentous events in their lives.
Today, we skype. And we blog. And we use cell phones. And we send text messages and emails, post our pictures to Flicker or Shutterfly. While I will admit I do a much better job of keeping in touch with the advances in communication, I do wonder how this will translate for historians in the future. For centuries we have relied upon the written word to give us information about people in the past. Granted, the digital age will give future historians more information about us than has ever been revealed before, but I fear that the personal stories will be lost. Families used to write letters to stay in touch when separated. Now they skype or call. I may be a cynic, but I think when we lose a generation's worth of personal communication we are losing the chance for future generations to fully understand us. So please, every once in a while send an old-fashioned letter through the snail mail to a family member or friend. And when you get one in return, store it in a safe place for future generations.
Today, we skype. And we blog. And we use cell phones. And we send text messages and emails, post our pictures to Flicker or Shutterfly. While I will admit I do a much better job of keeping in touch with the advances in communication, I do wonder how this will translate for historians in the future. For centuries we have relied upon the written word to give us information about people in the past. Granted, the digital age will give future historians more information about us than has ever been revealed before, but I fear that the personal stories will be lost. Families used to write letters to stay in touch when separated. Now they skype or call. I may be a cynic, but I think when we lose a generation's worth of personal communication we are losing the chance for future generations to fully understand us. So please, every once in a while send an old-fashioned letter through the snail mail to a family member or friend. And when you get one in return, store it in a safe place for future generations.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Rice pudding and Halloween parties
This has been a pretty wonderful October. 12 years ago Andy and I got married in October, for a wide variety of reasons. However, every fall I am thrilled that we chose to do it in October, as this month has traditionally been blessed with Indian summer weather. This year, we spent our anniversary weekend in Minneapolis for a medical conference. Andy worked Saturday morning, then surprised me with diamond earrings and dinner reservations at Il Gato. Great food, great company, and zombies as far as the eye could see...
You see, apparently we were in the cities at the same time the annual Zombie Pub Crawl was happening. Every where you looked, there were zombies. 10,000 of them. My personal favorites were the Bride Zombie - complete with real wedding dress and full cathedral train - and Where's Waldo Zombie. My cousin, Erika (whom we had a great lunch with that day!) stated that a sexy zombie had tried to crawl into their car through a window after they had dropped us off at our hotel. While I don't doubt that a zombie attempted to do so, I do doubt her classification of "sexy." In my experience, there is no such thing as a sexy zombie. The most disturbing aspect of the weekend was not the cab driver that got lost several times and finally just asked us to get out NEAR our restaurant because he couldn't find it. It was the Zombie Santa Claus that we rode in the elevator with on the way down to the lobby. That is just wrong. On many, many levels.
Today, while fondly remembering the zombies of last weekend, my children are at a Halloween party at a neighbor's house, Andy is on call, and I am suffering with the worst cold I have had all year. I'm feverish, freezing, and my head may explode any moment. So I am making chocolate chip muffins and rice pudding, and doing laundry. Because that is what you do when you are sick.
You see, apparently we were in the cities at the same time the annual Zombie Pub Crawl was happening. Every where you looked, there were zombies. 10,000 of them. My personal favorites were the Bride Zombie - complete with real wedding dress and full cathedral train - and Where's Waldo Zombie. My cousin, Erika (whom we had a great lunch with that day!) stated that a sexy zombie had tried to crawl into their car through a window after they had dropped us off at our hotel. While I don't doubt that a zombie attempted to do so, I do doubt her classification of "sexy." In my experience, there is no such thing as a sexy zombie. The most disturbing aspect of the weekend was not the cab driver that got lost several times and finally just asked us to get out NEAR our restaurant because he couldn't find it. It was the Zombie Santa Claus that we rode in the elevator with on the way down to the lobby. That is just wrong. On many, many levels.
Today, while fondly remembering the zombies of last weekend, my children are at a Halloween party at a neighbor's house, Andy is on call, and I am suffering with the worst cold I have had all year. I'm feverish, freezing, and my head may explode any moment. So I am making chocolate chip muffins and rice pudding, and doing laundry. Because that is what you do when you are sick.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Old Friends
First, let me put your mind at ease and tell you that Wendy is settling in to Kansas and I am adjusting to life here without them around. While I miss seeing them everyday, and Megan still tells me she wants to go to Wendy's house, it is becoming less common.
The topic for today is old friends. Appropriate, given that I got a phone call from the older sister of an old friend today, who was looking for her old friend's phone number, who happened to be my oldest sister. So that was fun. Then I got an email from said sister's high school boyfriend stating that an old friend of my other sister was looking for contact info for that sister. So I sent that info on as well. More fun!
One of my favorite email companions is my ex from high school. While we have both moved on to different lives, I really look forward to his semi-regular emails. When we met, years ago, he always seemed to know what I needed. That hasn't changed, and his emails always manage to make me smile, give me a place to vent, or remind me why I'm working towards something to start with. Though we haven't seen each other in almost 16 years, and there was very little contact for the first 15 of those years, the last half year that we've been writing has been very cathartic. I'm trying to talk him into bringing his girlfriend down to spend the weekend in Grand Forks, touring UND grad departments in hopes that they'll choose this as their grad school.
And finally, my old friend - who is also my cousin - is on my mind and in my heart a lot these days. Her mom died a few months ago, and Erika has taken it hard. Understandably so, as they were very close. I think Erika often felt like her mom was the only constant in her life, and that losing her meant losing place in the world. I'm not going to begin to go into all the challenges Erika and her mom have faced over the years, suffice it to say that the simple fact that Erika is a loving wife and mother, a talented teacher, and a great friend speaks volumes to her strength - both strength of character and spiritual strength. What would have crushed a lesser person has made Erika more beautiful. And while she is having problems seeing that right now, I know that Linda is with her in spirit, reminding her that it is ok to enjoy life, to laugh, to love, and to carry on. I know Linda would have wanted Erika to go on living and embracing all it offers. But I also know that she isn't quite ready to make that step yet. So I am asking everyone to send your prayers, thoughts, karma, or whatever spiritual things you do, to Erika. Give her your healing vibes, help her know that moving on doesn't mean forgetting, and that her mom is still with her - in herself and in her 2 beautiful children. Maybe if enough of us send her good thoughts, she can start to heal. It doesn't matter if you know her or not, send it anyway. Everything helps!
The topic for today is old friends. Appropriate, given that I got a phone call from the older sister of an old friend today, who was looking for her old friend's phone number, who happened to be my oldest sister. So that was fun. Then I got an email from said sister's high school boyfriend stating that an old friend of my other sister was looking for contact info for that sister. So I sent that info on as well. More fun!
One of my favorite email companions is my ex from high school. While we have both moved on to different lives, I really look forward to his semi-regular emails. When we met, years ago, he always seemed to know what I needed. That hasn't changed, and his emails always manage to make me smile, give me a place to vent, or remind me why I'm working towards something to start with. Though we haven't seen each other in almost 16 years, and there was very little contact for the first 15 of those years, the last half year that we've been writing has been very cathartic. I'm trying to talk him into bringing his girlfriend down to spend the weekend in Grand Forks, touring UND grad departments in hopes that they'll choose this as their grad school.
And finally, my old friend - who is also my cousin - is on my mind and in my heart a lot these days. Her mom died a few months ago, and Erika has taken it hard. Understandably so, as they were very close. I think Erika often felt like her mom was the only constant in her life, and that losing her meant losing place in the world. I'm not going to begin to go into all the challenges Erika and her mom have faced over the years, suffice it to say that the simple fact that Erika is a loving wife and mother, a talented teacher, and a great friend speaks volumes to her strength - both strength of character and spiritual strength. What would have crushed a lesser person has made Erika more beautiful. And while she is having problems seeing that right now, I know that Linda is with her in spirit, reminding her that it is ok to enjoy life, to laugh, to love, and to carry on. I know Linda would have wanted Erika to go on living and embracing all it offers. But I also know that she isn't quite ready to make that step yet. So I am asking everyone to send your prayers, thoughts, karma, or whatever spiritual things you do, to Erika. Give her your healing vibes, help her know that moving on doesn't mean forgetting, and that her mom is still with her - in herself and in her 2 beautiful children. Maybe if enough of us send her good thoughts, she can start to heal. It doesn't matter if you know her or not, send it anyway. Everything helps!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Being a doctor's wife
Wendy and I often discussed if, given the opportunity, we'd go back in time and encourage medical school and the following residency again. While I refuse to committ our answers to print, I will say that it made for many interesting conversations over time. One thing I think we both can agree on is that being a doctor's wife isn't all its cracked up to be.
In addition to the obvious issues of the cost - in terms of money, time, and emotions - that are associated with getting the degree and training necessary, there is the LOOK others give you when you admit what your husband does for a living. It's a look that speaks volumes, ranging anywhere from assumptions that you "couldn't possibly have a brain in your head and need a man to support you" across the spectrum to "aren't you the conniving woman who managed to snag a provider?" And with the LOOK come the inevitable questions about your supposed life of luxury and how they (whoever is giving you the LOOK) would love to be in your shoes.
Really? Lady, there are many days when I'd gladly hand them over. The luxury? I live in a cramped, 900 square foot apartment with one tiny bathroom for 4 people. We drive an 11 year old Neon and an 9 year old minivan. I despise getting the mail because I know there will be another bill arriving, and just possibly another student loan statement reminding me how much we paid for Andy to become a doctor. And the best part? There's no end in sight, and unless someone has actually been through the same situation, there is very little understanding about what it actually feels like to live through this. Maybe that's why Wendy and I got along so well- 2 teachers who managed to fall in love with men who thought it'd be good to be a doctor, and we loved them enough to say "Sure, sounds great!" Who knew?
All that being said, I must say that I hold out hope that in the end even days like today will be a pleasant memory. And in the meantime, I will remember to respond to all inquiries regarding Andy's employment by stating "He works at Altru" and leave it at that. There is no need to specify.
In addition to the obvious issues of the cost - in terms of money, time, and emotions - that are associated with getting the degree and training necessary, there is the LOOK others give you when you admit what your husband does for a living. It's a look that speaks volumes, ranging anywhere from assumptions that you "couldn't possibly have a brain in your head and need a man to support you" across the spectrum to "aren't you the conniving woman who managed to snag a provider?" And with the LOOK come the inevitable questions about your supposed life of luxury and how they (whoever is giving you the LOOK) would love to be in your shoes.
Really? Lady, there are many days when I'd gladly hand them over. The luxury? I live in a cramped, 900 square foot apartment with one tiny bathroom for 4 people. We drive an 11 year old Neon and an 9 year old minivan. I despise getting the mail because I know there will be another bill arriving, and just possibly another student loan statement reminding me how much we paid for Andy to become a doctor. And the best part? There's no end in sight, and unless someone has actually been through the same situation, there is very little understanding about what it actually feels like to live through this. Maybe that's why Wendy and I got along so well- 2 teachers who managed to fall in love with men who thought it'd be good to be a doctor, and we loved them enough to say "Sure, sounds great!" Who knew?
All that being said, I must say that I hold out hope that in the end even days like today will be a pleasant memory. And in the meantime, I will remember to respond to all inquiries regarding Andy's employment by stating "He works at Altru" and leave it at that. There is no need to specify.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Hazards of Making Friends in Residency
Andy has always told me that I need to meet more people and socialize more. Personally, I'm pretty happy with having a small social circle. However, every once in a while I make the effort to expand the circle. Last summer, Grand Forks got a new OB fellow, and Andy forced me to talk to him and his wife, Wendy. As it turns out, Wendy and I became friends and she made the first year of residency much easier. She had already been through it and was able to lend some much needed perspective and advice. I, on the other hand, told her about the Sioux Kids Club, North Dakota winters, and Happy Harry's. It was a good relationship. To add even more benefits, we vented about our living arrangements to each other, our kids played together, and we spent more than our fair share of time avoiding all the things we needed to get done by chatting with each other.
The end of July also meant the end of Eric's year as a fellow. Today Eric, Wendy, and their boys moved to Kansas for Eric to start practice. It has been a sad day. Meg sat down on the ground and declared that she didn't want them to go. Joseph cried, and that set the rest of us off. But in the end, they had to get in the car and start the long drive. It has been an odd day without them around. Nico has looked for them more than once, and Meg was sitting on the step at their house looking a little lost. I bought a new comforter set as inspiration to clean my bedroom...just to give me something to do.
While I realize that Kansas isn't the end of the earth, it is far enough away that walking over to chat for a few minutes is no longer going to happen. I guess that's why they have Skype!
I told Andy a bit ago that this is precisely why I don't like to meet new people. There are some that you are sorry you met, and some that you really enjoy, and some that you really treasure. It stinks when they have to move.
The end of July also meant the end of Eric's year as a fellow. Today Eric, Wendy, and their boys moved to Kansas for Eric to start practice. It has been a sad day. Meg sat down on the ground and declared that she didn't want them to go. Joseph cried, and that set the rest of us off. But in the end, they had to get in the car and start the long drive. It has been an odd day without them around. Nico has looked for them more than once, and Meg was sitting on the step at their house looking a little lost. I bought a new comforter set as inspiration to clean my bedroom...just to give me something to do.
While I realize that Kansas isn't the end of the earth, it is far enough away that walking over to chat for a few minutes is no longer going to happen. I guess that's why they have Skype!
I told Andy a bit ago that this is precisely why I don't like to meet new people. There are some that you are sorry you met, and some that you really enjoy, and some that you really treasure. It stinks when they have to move.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Things I Don't Want My Children to Learn
In light of recent events, I've put together a list of things I don't want my children to learn. Mostly, this is a therapeutic venting exercise, but perhaps by putting them in writing I will remember to guard against the installation of these types of values in my kids.
1. It is necessary to subjugate yourself to the masses - even if you know in your heart that the masses are not motivated by the greater good, but rather a selfish urge to improve their own position.
2. In dealing with others, it is necessary to bury all conflict. After all, it is better for the boat to go down in a fiery inferno one day than rock it a bit once in a while.
3. Social position and other people's opinions are more important than what you feel about yourself.
4. It is more important to advance your own position than it is to reach out to help someone else.
5. It isn't acceptable to reach beyond the low expectations that have been imposed upon you by others. Aim to be only average. Believe that you aren't good enough to do it.
1. It is necessary to subjugate yourself to the masses - even if you know in your heart that the masses are not motivated by the greater good, but rather a selfish urge to improve their own position.
2. In dealing with others, it is necessary to bury all conflict. After all, it is better for the boat to go down in a fiery inferno one day than rock it a bit once in a while.
3. Social position and other people's opinions are more important than what you feel about yourself.
4. It is more important to advance your own position than it is to reach out to help someone else.
5. It isn't acceptable to reach beyond the low expectations that have been imposed upon you by others. Aim to be only average. Believe that you aren't good enough to do it.
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