Among the more interesting parts of residency is the opportunity to meet and screen hopeful candidates for the residency program. My understanding of the process is that these hopefuls fill out applications, get called, go to the appropriate city, stay in a hotel, eat dinner and lunch with strangers, tour the hospital, and meet with the current residents and attendings. My role in this process is that every few candidates I get to play "adoring wife #1" and accompany Andy to dinner at a local restaurant to wine and dine these folks. So far, this has gone well for us! Our last dinner was at the Toasted Frog - easily my favorite restaurant in town - and the candidate was a young woman from Pakistan, who had gone to London after medical school to practice. While I admit I have forgotten her name, I do remember that she was extremely interesting and friendly. We had a nice dinner (I had lamb, Andy had shark, and she had pesto pizza...we all had the fried pickles and baked brie) and I had someone to give me first-hand insight into living in a part of the world that I have spent the last few years of my life studying in some depth. The downside to this is that when our turn comes to escort the next candidate, I fear it will be a letdown!
In other news, we have had a rather rough month. My aunt Bonnie (my mom's younger sister) died last month. Close on the heels of that my maternal grandfather's health is rapidly declining, and none of us believe that he will be around to greet another year. While disturbing for me, I can only speculate as to how awful this is for my mom. We lost her mom in January, 14 years ago. This is not a good time of year for her family!
Close on the heels of the news that Auntie Bonnie had died was news from Andy's family of a significantly happier event. Joey's wedding has been officially scheduled for June 3, 2010. In Key West. Immediate family only, children under the age of 20 are optional. Mine will be spending the week with my parents. Andy and I are going to enjoy our trip to Key West and call it the honeymoon we never had. I know that sounds terribly rude, to impose our honeymoon on Joey's wedding, but I promise not to tell him!
As I finish writing this, I am watching the snow fly (the first snow of the season!) and I realize how badly I need a vacation! Maybe if I crank up the heat, get a beach towel, and turn on the travel channel I could convince myself I was already in Key West!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
The State of Maine and the state of Gay Marriage in America
Not long ago, it was illegal for a black person and a white person to marry. In addition, it was highly discouraged - if not outright illegal - for mixed marriages to occur - that is, people of different religious backgrounds were not to marry. Today, while some people still look down their noses at such unions, the general consensus is that it is the right of those involved in the marriage to make decisions regarding their choice of marital partner. So why doesn't that apply to everyone?
When Andy and I were in college, we spent many evenings at his fraternity for the obligatory parties. While Andy did his duty by the brothers, I hid out in an upstairs bedroom. I have no idea whose room it was, nor do I care. What I do remember is that one of the older brothers spent most of the evening there as well. He kept me entertained, kept me supplied with whatever drink or snack I wanted, and was quite wonderful while Andy was doing his official "business." While with Todd, I never worried about my safety or the safety of anyone else around him. He was capable, compassionate, and always the gentleman. Having served as President of the Student Body while at UND, Todd was an interesting man, capable of holding an intelligent conversation for extended periods of time. Today, he is an accomplished lawyer, a thespian, and very handsome. And he is openly gay.
What I am not able to understand is how people who have never met Todd can presume to dictate his marriage partner. I am not referring to the marriage ceremony that takes place within a church. Each religion and each congregation needs to decide that issue for themselves. What I am questioning is how in a nation, that has made a deliberate separation of church and state, can legally block the marriage of two consenting adults. When Andy and I applied for our marriage license, the person who sold it to us didn't ask any questions regarding our history, our religion, our intentions towards child-bearing, or any other personal questions. She simply had us fill out a form, then stamped it when she took our money. That was it. Why should it be any different for Todd, or the countless others? Why should other people get to choose the person his employee benefits can protect, or what tax form he will file? These people did not get to voice an opinion about my marriage to Andy, and they should not get a voice in this either. It is a ridiculous notion, and it is time we accept that.
When Andy and I were in college, we spent many evenings at his fraternity for the obligatory parties. While Andy did his duty by the brothers, I hid out in an upstairs bedroom. I have no idea whose room it was, nor do I care. What I do remember is that one of the older brothers spent most of the evening there as well. He kept me entertained, kept me supplied with whatever drink or snack I wanted, and was quite wonderful while Andy was doing his official "business." While with Todd, I never worried about my safety or the safety of anyone else around him. He was capable, compassionate, and always the gentleman. Having served as President of the Student Body while at UND, Todd was an interesting man, capable of holding an intelligent conversation for extended periods of time. Today, he is an accomplished lawyer, a thespian, and very handsome. And he is openly gay.
What I am not able to understand is how people who have never met Todd can presume to dictate his marriage partner. I am not referring to the marriage ceremony that takes place within a church. Each religion and each congregation needs to decide that issue for themselves. What I am questioning is how in a nation, that has made a deliberate separation of church and state, can legally block the marriage of two consenting adults. When Andy and I applied for our marriage license, the person who sold it to us didn't ask any questions regarding our history, our religion, our intentions towards child-bearing, or any other personal questions. She simply had us fill out a form, then stamped it when she took our money. That was it. Why should it be any different for Todd, or the countless others? Why should other people get to choose the person his employee benefits can protect, or what tax form he will file? These people did not get to voice an opinion about my marriage to Andy, and they should not get a voice in this either. It is a ridiculous notion, and it is time we accept that.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The End Is Near
Friday, October 23 will be Andy's last day on the surgery rotation. It has been a long, long two months. These are the days that make me look fondly back at the third year of medical school - the one everyone said would be the worst year of this journey - as a kinder, gentler time. I think Andy's longest stretch this month was 19 days in a row. And his days begin before 5 am. I cannot imagine keeping that kind of pace.
To make life more interesting, Megan and I have been sick with sore throat, cough, and fever for the last week. And despite the media attention and local fervor, I refuse to believe it is H1N1. It is a cold. I believe in this atmosphere of fear about swine flu, people have lost all common sense. I am missing at least 1/4 of my students every day, and they are all convinced that they have swine flu. I, on the other hand, having lived most of my 33 years in North Dakota, understand that in September, October, and November people in North Dakota get together indoors for long periods of time. And we have weather that changes rapidly. It will be 90 degrees one day, and snowing the next. And we like to throw a little rain in there for good measure. And sometimes a person has a little sniffle. And because we pack in like sardines, the 40 closest people also get a sniffle. And then it spreads. And most of North Dakota will get a cold, or two. Or three. Or four. It happens every year. But this year, rather than saying "Jeez, this is a nasty cold," people are saying "I have swine flu and I must be isolated for 5-7 days." I think this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Andy has been fighting this cold as well. They sent him home yesterday afternoon after he had spent most of the afternoon huddled in a blanket. I wish we would have figured that one out a few weeks ago: Huddled in Blanket = Go Home Early. Who knew? We will file that under lessons learned.
Also, in our really big exciting news category, I am pleased to report that our friend (and my new hero!) Chester found truffle butter for us. In Boston. And that wonderful man not only bought it, but carried it home on the airplane for us. Now that I know that it is available in Boston, I am determined to find it a bit closer to home. Has anyone had any luck yet?
To make life more interesting, Megan and I have been sick with sore throat, cough, and fever for the last week. And despite the media attention and local fervor, I refuse to believe it is H1N1. It is a cold. I believe in this atmosphere of fear about swine flu, people have lost all common sense. I am missing at least 1/4 of my students every day, and they are all convinced that they have swine flu. I, on the other hand, having lived most of my 33 years in North Dakota, understand that in September, October, and November people in North Dakota get together indoors for long periods of time. And we have weather that changes rapidly. It will be 90 degrees one day, and snowing the next. And we like to throw a little rain in there for good measure. And sometimes a person has a little sniffle. And because we pack in like sardines, the 40 closest people also get a sniffle. And then it spreads. And most of North Dakota will get a cold, or two. Or three. Or four. It happens every year. But this year, rather than saying "Jeez, this is a nasty cold," people are saying "I have swine flu and I must be isolated for 5-7 days." I think this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Meanwhile, back at the hospital, Andy has been fighting this cold as well. They sent him home yesterday afternoon after he had spent most of the afternoon huddled in a blanket. I wish we would have figured that one out a few weeks ago: Huddled in Blanket = Go Home Early. Who knew? We will file that under lessons learned.
Also, in our really big exciting news category, I am pleased to report that our friend (and my new hero!) Chester found truffle butter for us. In Boston. And that wonderful man not only bought it, but carried it home on the airplane for us. Now that I know that it is available in Boston, I am determined to find it a bit closer to home. Has anyone had any luck yet?
Friday, October 9, 2009
Busy Weeks and the Miracle of Skype
Over the last few weeks our family has gone from busy to a place where we look back at busy as being a kinder, gentler time. Nico started hockey on Saturday mornings 3 weeks ago. This means that Megan and I spend our Saturday mornings freezing in Eagles Arena, watching Nico skate around with a bunch of other 7 and 8 year olds, whose fondest desire seems not to actually score a goal, but to celebrate after the scoring. They are equal opportunity celebrators. They give the double-pump, down on one knee, stick in the air for anyone who scores for their team. Then they give a double-arm up in the air salute for anyone who scores on them. I think if Nico spent half the time working on his skating that he spends celebrating he would be as good at hockey as he is at golf. Unfortunately, Nico doesn't appear to be headed down the "Hockey God" path taken by his uncles and grandfather. Let's hope that means that there will be a medical degree in his future, rather than a coach's whistle!
Tuesdays and Fridays mean speech therapy for Megan. We got a new therapist for her, and Jennifer (or Jenny, as Meg calls her) is wonderful. Megan looks forward to each of her sessions. I love to see her so enthused about speech, as it was such a struggle to get her there for the first few sessions with the other therapist. At one point I had fooled myself into thinking that Tuesday and Friday would be research days, as I was not teaching or doing office hours those days. It is amazing how that time has disappeared between Meg's speech and the Grand Forks school district's calendar that seems to give every other Friday off of school.
Friday evenings Meg has dance, and her favorite part is the Magic Box at the end of every class. In a large box, the dance instructors keep various costumes and accessories that the little ballerinas delight in wearing while they dance for the last five minutes of class. Though parents are officially banned from the studio, we all line up at the windows outside to catch a peek of the little princesses!
Thursday evenings mean Nico's Tae Kwon Do lessons at the community center near where we live. They are free, he likes them, he gets to practice doing pushups, and he can walk over by himself. We LOVE Thursday nights!
Piled on top of kid activities, we have normal things like homework for Nico and me, laundry, dinners to make, dishes to do, bathrooms to clean, and enjoying each other to do. Unfortunately, Andy is gone more often than not, so in order to enjoy some time with Dad we spend a lot of time at the hospital. The on-call room is in the maze Altru calls a basement, and we have been there enough that my kids can not only find the on-call room, but also 2 different sets of elevators, the cafeteria, and the entrance to the clinic. Impressive considering I still cannot find my way around down there!
Andy has begun to count down the days until the end of this rotation. He gets the last week in October off for vacation, so he is down to a bit over two weeks left. I think his first few days at home may be like someone who has returned home from an overseas business trip - the return to "our time" may take a few days to get used to!
In light of the craziness of our household, I still have not made it to Wisconsin to see Cathy's new baby, Ethan. I am itching to go, but the fates seem to be conspiring against it. To top it off, I haven't been able to find the time to make a simple phone call to talk with her since August when Ethan was born. I know what you are thinking, and yes, it really is that hard to find the time these days! I don't know how to explain it, but we really are that busy. Thankfully, Cathy and I have each discovered Skype and webcams, and on Sunday I actually got to talk with her face-to-face. While the computer images are never as good as actually being in the same room together, it was a wonderful conversation. Sometimes I need to be reminded to slow down and reprioritize my life!
Tonight, we are headed to the UND men's hockey game. Nico was picked to be the Sioux Kids Club Captain of the Game, and he will be introduced on-ice with the team. He also gets to ride the Zamboni. What more could a kid ever ask for??
Tomorrow morning, bright and early at 6 am we are headed to Sioux Falls. My niece, Annabelle, is going to be baptized, and Andy and I get to be godparents! We are very excited to go, especially Megan who has been talking about seeing her cousin, whom she refers to as "My Best Friend Kaden", for the last 2 weeks.
On a more personal note, Andy and I are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary tomorrow as well! At times it seems like the days and years have flown by, and sometimes it surprises me how very lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man! And to those of you who were around when we got married I just have this to say: When did we all get so old?
Tuesdays and Fridays mean speech therapy for Megan. We got a new therapist for her, and Jennifer (or Jenny, as Meg calls her) is wonderful. Megan looks forward to each of her sessions. I love to see her so enthused about speech, as it was such a struggle to get her there for the first few sessions with the other therapist. At one point I had fooled myself into thinking that Tuesday and Friday would be research days, as I was not teaching or doing office hours those days. It is amazing how that time has disappeared between Meg's speech and the Grand Forks school district's calendar that seems to give every other Friday off of school.
Friday evenings Meg has dance, and her favorite part is the Magic Box at the end of every class. In a large box, the dance instructors keep various costumes and accessories that the little ballerinas delight in wearing while they dance for the last five minutes of class. Though parents are officially banned from the studio, we all line up at the windows outside to catch a peek of the little princesses!
Thursday evenings mean Nico's Tae Kwon Do lessons at the community center near where we live. They are free, he likes them, he gets to practice doing pushups, and he can walk over by himself. We LOVE Thursday nights!
Piled on top of kid activities, we have normal things like homework for Nico and me, laundry, dinners to make, dishes to do, bathrooms to clean, and enjoying each other to do. Unfortunately, Andy is gone more often than not, so in order to enjoy some time with Dad we spend a lot of time at the hospital. The on-call room is in the maze Altru calls a basement, and we have been there enough that my kids can not only find the on-call room, but also 2 different sets of elevators, the cafeteria, and the entrance to the clinic. Impressive considering I still cannot find my way around down there!
Andy has begun to count down the days until the end of this rotation. He gets the last week in October off for vacation, so he is down to a bit over two weeks left. I think his first few days at home may be like someone who has returned home from an overseas business trip - the return to "our time" may take a few days to get used to!
In light of the craziness of our household, I still have not made it to Wisconsin to see Cathy's new baby, Ethan. I am itching to go, but the fates seem to be conspiring against it. To top it off, I haven't been able to find the time to make a simple phone call to talk with her since August when Ethan was born. I know what you are thinking, and yes, it really is that hard to find the time these days! I don't know how to explain it, but we really are that busy. Thankfully, Cathy and I have each discovered Skype and webcams, and on Sunday I actually got to talk with her face-to-face. While the computer images are never as good as actually being in the same room together, it was a wonderful conversation. Sometimes I need to be reminded to slow down and reprioritize my life!
Tonight, we are headed to the UND men's hockey game. Nico was picked to be the Sioux Kids Club Captain of the Game, and he will be introduced on-ice with the team. He also gets to ride the Zamboni. What more could a kid ever ask for??
Tomorrow morning, bright and early at 6 am we are headed to Sioux Falls. My niece, Annabelle, is going to be baptized, and Andy and I get to be godparents! We are very excited to go, especially Megan who has been talking about seeing her cousin, whom she refers to as "My Best Friend Kaden", for the last 2 weeks.
On a more personal note, Andy and I are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary tomorrow as well! At times it seems like the days and years have flown by, and sometimes it surprises me how very lucky I am to have married such a wonderful man! And to those of you who were around when we got married I just have this to say: When did we all get so old?
Friday, September 25, 2009
The Elusive Truffle Butter
Have you ever heard of truffle butter? No, not truffle oil, truffle butter. Neither had I. But this summer, while visiting my sister and her family in Sioux Falls I bought Andy a Barefoot Contessa cookbook. Of all the Food Network stars, only Ina Garten and Alton Brown have my undying devotion. They simply make you want to try new things! (By the way, Alton's recipe for Dulce de Leche is simply amazing!) So I paid way too much for the cookbook and on the way home to Grand Forks Andy and I drooled over the wonderful things she was cooking up in the pages. One recipe, in particular, caught our eye. It was a truffle butter pasta. You took some heavy cream, salt, truffle butter, pasta, and a bit of the pasta-cooking water, threw it together with some parmesan cheese on the top and you have a meal fit for a king. It is one of the simplest meals we have ever made and also one of the most delicious. We have fallen in love with it. So much so that we were willing to order the truffle butter required to make said meal through an internet company that was amazingly reasonably priced. The 8 oz. of white truffle butter was around $16. If you know anything at all about truffles, I am sure you are saying "Wow! That's a great deal!" And it was! Until they hit us with the shipping charges. You see, truffle butter needs to be kept cold, which means that it needs to be packed on ice and shipped overnight UPS. If you are keeping track, that runs about $35 for shipping. Suddenly, my butter was up to $51.
Due to our truffle butter pasta addiction, we have paid the shipping fees more than once, all the while hoping we would be able to find the butter locally for a decent price. Here are the results as they stand so far:
It is unavailable in Grand Forks, East Grand Forks, and Bemidji. Also unavailable in Sioux Falls (and we checked all the specialty stores we could find - including those that the people who worked in the stores named!). A friend of ours spent a considerable amount of time searching Byerly's and Whole Foods in the Twin Cities to no avail.
So my question to all of you is this: Does anybody have any idea where I can buy truffle butter in the tri-state area? We have run out again and I don't think Andy's salary is going to support much more of these delivery fees!
Just in case you were keeping track - the tomato soup from an earlier entry came from the same cookbook. The woman is a genius!
Due to our truffle butter pasta addiction, we have paid the shipping fees more than once, all the while hoping we would be able to find the butter locally for a decent price. Here are the results as they stand so far:
It is unavailable in Grand Forks, East Grand Forks, and Bemidji. Also unavailable in Sioux Falls (and we checked all the specialty stores we could find - including those that the people who worked in the stores named!). A friend of ours spent a considerable amount of time searching Byerly's and Whole Foods in the Twin Cities to no avail.
So my question to all of you is this: Does anybody have any idea where I can buy truffle butter in the tri-state area? We have run out again and I don't think Andy's salary is going to support much more of these delivery fees!
Just in case you were keeping track - the tomato soup from an earlier entry came from the same cookbook. The woman is a genius!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
And She Pondered These Things In Her Heart
There is a bible passage regarding Mary that states at some point, "and Mary pondered these things in her heart." Note that she didn't think about them, she didn't wonder about them, she pondered them. What a powerful statement. And it was not confined to her head, but encompassed her heart, which was widely considered to be the control center for the body. Essentially, Mary's ponderings were an all-consuming affair that she considered seriously, deeply, and somewhat uneasily. These people knew how to write!
My own writing, sadly, is far below that level. However, on my way home from Target today I heard an NPR story regarding writing and playing. The man on the radio told me I needed to quit worrying about my larger plan and just start to write. Nothing will get done if I am constantly looking at the big picture, trying to determine where my contribution should fit into the larger historiography. He told me that I have to play with the writing, and not expect analytical material immediately. Get the process started, build my sandcastle so to speak, and judge it on its merits when it is done.
I have decided to listen to the little man in the radio. After all, he apparently knows where I live and what car I drive, as he tends to follow me most everywhere. So today I started the actual writing process for my thesis. I have no idea where it will lead, and I have no idea how I am going to get there, and one day I will ponder these things in my heart. For now, I am simply going to write.
On a lighter note, Andy and I enjoyed his weekend off. We spent Sunday as a family, but on Saturday we did the downtown Art and Wine Walk with some good friends. It is now Tuesday, and the warm sunshine, good company, and fresh air of that day is still with me, despite the rather objectionable weather of the last few days. I am so happy that we took the time to enjoy each other!
My own writing, sadly, is far below that level. However, on my way home from Target today I heard an NPR story regarding writing and playing. The man on the radio told me I needed to quit worrying about my larger plan and just start to write. Nothing will get done if I am constantly looking at the big picture, trying to determine where my contribution should fit into the larger historiography. He told me that I have to play with the writing, and not expect analytical material immediately. Get the process started, build my sandcastle so to speak, and judge it on its merits when it is done.
I have decided to listen to the little man in the radio. After all, he apparently knows where I live and what car I drive, as he tends to follow me most everywhere. So today I started the actual writing process for my thesis. I have no idea where it will lead, and I have no idea how I am going to get there, and one day I will ponder these things in my heart. For now, I am simply going to write.
On a lighter note, Andy and I enjoyed his weekend off. We spent Sunday as a family, but on Saturday we did the downtown Art and Wine Walk with some good friends. It is now Tuesday, and the warm sunshine, good company, and fresh air of that day is still with me, despite the rather objectionable weather of the last few days. I am so happy that we took the time to enjoy each other!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Losing at Golf
They say children will eventually surpass their parents in height, education, and athletic skills. I thought I had more time - after all, Nico is only 7. But this morning, he beat me at golf. Badly. I knew it was going to be a bad round when I teed up the first time and the ball landed exactly 4 inches in front of the tee. Meanwhile, Nico was hitting drives that I normally see from Andy. But rather than cursing the Grand Forks School District for giving the teachers yet another staff development day and sticking me with Nico for the day, I smiled and said "Great Shot!" when inside I was thinking "Am I really so very bad at this game that a 7 year old is beating me?" And the answer, of course, is Yes, I really am that bad! And I am ok with that. But Nico is really that good as well. We aren't talking competition for Tiger yet, but he hit consistently today and came out of it with a score in the 50s. I don't know the exact number, as there were a few shots that hit the water, so we didn't count those. All things considered though, the kid is a good golfer.
It has been a busy week at our house. There was much excitement last night when we got the news that Andy's little brother, Joey, is now engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Amanda. She is a wonderful woman and we are all excited to welcome her to the family in an "official" capacity. She has been a part of our lives for a long time, and it is nice that Joey finally grew up enough to have a wife! A part of me will always think of Joey as that 14 year old kid that I met, but at 28 he has grown up nicely! I'm not quite sure how he won Amanda over, but she is my personal favorite of all of his girlfriends...and there have been plenty to choose from!
Megan starts ballet classes tonight, and she has been waiting all summer for them! She will be going to the same place her cousin, Kaylie, went when she lived in Grand Forks. Megan is very excited and wanted to wear her "outfit" to Janelle's today!
Andy and I are looking forward to his first full weekend off since the beginning of August. He will be home by 5pm (we hope!) and won't have to be back to work until 4am on Monday. Tomorrow we are headed to the Art and Wine Walk downtown with Bryon and Val, followed by dinner and a rousing game of cards! We are very exciting people, aren't we?
Before that, however, Andy is taking Nico golfing. They have an 8am tee-time. It is Andy's turn to be beat by the 7 year old.
It has been a busy week at our house. There was much excitement last night when we got the news that Andy's little brother, Joey, is now engaged to his long-time girlfriend, Amanda. She is a wonderful woman and we are all excited to welcome her to the family in an "official" capacity. She has been a part of our lives for a long time, and it is nice that Joey finally grew up enough to have a wife! A part of me will always think of Joey as that 14 year old kid that I met, but at 28 he has grown up nicely! I'm not quite sure how he won Amanda over, but she is my personal favorite of all of his girlfriends...and there have been plenty to choose from!
Megan starts ballet classes tonight, and she has been waiting all summer for them! She will be going to the same place her cousin, Kaylie, went when she lived in Grand Forks. Megan is very excited and wanted to wear her "outfit" to Janelle's today!
Andy and I are looking forward to his first full weekend off since the beginning of August. He will be home by 5pm (we hope!) and won't have to be back to work until 4am on Monday. Tomorrow we are headed to the Art and Wine Walk downtown with Bryon and Val, followed by dinner and a rousing game of cards! We are very exciting people, aren't we?
Before that, however, Andy is taking Nico golfing. They have an 8am tee-time. It is Andy's turn to be beat by the 7 year old.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)